Track #7: The Mary Onettes - Explosions

"And it can make your heart stop,
it can make your heart stop,
and it can make your heart stop...
We're all shake when the feeling comes,
we're all fade towards the dawn,
but you were never scared...
no you were never scared."

"I could still hear the noise from the heart that kept me up all night, I could still hear the noise from the thoughts that kept me there."

"I can still hear the noise tonight."

I can no longer will myself to write twelve blogs a day, or some such lunacy. I've been struggling to write prose, let alone some kind of revealing blog, and right now... I think I'm going insane. And not in the fun way, either. I think I'm breaking down. Insanity or a mental breakdown, which would be better? The breakdown, I bet, because I think you come back from those. Broken but functioning. Insanity would be a whole new level of downer. But at least I wouldn't be aware of the problems.

Oh, crap.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, anonymous internet readers.

All the things I want go on and on and on...

It's worse. I thought if I didn't see it, it couldn't hurt me...

...but I did! I saw it! And it hurt! I was right! I don't know what to do!

It hurt in my heart and my mind and I don't know why I do this to myself!

Curses, natural curiosity! And curses to you*! Curses to you and your terrible writing!











*Don't worry. Not you. Her. HERRRRRR!

Track #6: Queens of the Stone Age - River In The Road (acoustic)

The Sinister Urge

As a race of people, why are we so fucked up? Why do we kill? Why do we rape and torture and generally cause chaos? Is this our default setting? Is it an effort to be good? We all have a voice in the back of our head telling us to doing something bad, and sometimes it's loud and sometimes it's quiet. Sometimes it tells us to steal, and sometimes it tells to fight... the "sinister urge", to steal from Rob Zombie. We have a conscience, don't we? But what happens when that whispers and something else shouts? When all the good is drowned out and all we're left with is hate and the wanting to inflict pain?

Hmm.

There is no pain or anger that I am not.

"Don’t start the story with sirens blaring, don’t have photographs of the killer, don’t make it 24/7 coverage, do everything you can not to make the body count the lead story, not to make the killer some kind of anti-hero, do localise the story to the effected community and make it as boring as possible to every other market because every time we have intense saturation coverage of a mass murder we expect to see one or two more within a week."
--Park Dietz on reporting murders, and how to prevent copycat murders from taking place.

I'm back.